


I'm Sorry, Okay? Please Just Come Back.

by justanauthor



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bowers Gang - Freeform, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, Fluff and Angst, Homophobic Language, I'm Bad At Tagging, Internalized Homophobia, Kinda, Multi, Reddie endgame, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Richie Tozier Has Issues, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Slow Burn, but it's okay it get's better, connor is actually nice in this one, eddie messes up, like very slow burn, myra is evil, please just read it, so is Henry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:20:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24678334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanauthor/pseuds/justanauthor
Summary: Myra had to temporarily join the Losers Club during lunch because Eddie promised his mom that he'd make an effort to get to know Mrya. Richie doesn't really like the idea of someone new joining the club because he's scared of being replaced. Long story short, Myra and Richie don't start off on the right foot and Myra later says some stuff that wasn't very kind of her.ORAn AU where Richie leaves the Losers Club and Joins the Bower's Gang!!,,, well mostly just Connor.. Will he come back to the group? Or will he stay with Bowers? Read and stay tuned to find out!
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier (Implied)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW for the chapter!  
> -homophobic slurs and open talk of homophobia  
> -there's curse words in this (would it really be a Richie fic without curse words tho?)  
> sorry if the first chapter is short :( i promise the next one's will be longer! im just barely getting back into writing :)

Richie wasn’t having the best of days today. First, he finds out that his english essay “wasn’t his best work” according to Mr.Webber, and needs to rewrite it _again._ Then, he realizes that he left his AP Physics homework on his desk back at home and is going to get a _missing_ on his work for the day. And on top of all that, there’s going to be a new person with The Losers today at lunch. Great, just great. 

_Eddie whined, “C’mon Chee! I promised my mom I’d let Myra eat lunch with us today. At least until she finds her own little group.” Richie rolled his eyes, “Eddie the table is already crowded as it is! There’s no room for her here!” Eddie was about to reply when Bill chimed in and broke the little dispute between the two, “R-Richie calm down, she’s just going to be w-with us for a w-week at most. We can spare a seat at the table”. Richie backed down. Everyone knows there’s no chance when arguing against Bill. He was their leader of the group afterall. “Fine, but when she takes up the whole table or stays any longer she has to, she has to go, okay? Please?” Bill let out a small smile and replied to Richie, “Of cour-course Rich. She’ll find her own group in no time. Don’t worry about it, right Eddie?” Eddie let out a breath while rolling his eyes, “Yeah, as I said before Rich she’s not going to be around forever. It’s just until she finds her own little group of Losers”_

Richie walked into the third period a little gloomy. Today wasn’t really going his way but really when have they ever really gone his way? _Whatever_ he thought. At least he was in US History now. That meant he could nap and try to recharge before lunch. _Only two more classes to go_ he thought as he drifted to sleep. 

_Briiing!!_

Richie woke up feeling a little groggy, but it wasn’t anything new. He slowly gathered his things and turned the corner to head to Mrs.V’s PreCalc class when his shoulders collided into someone else's. Although he didn’t see who it was, he heard their things drop to the floor. “Shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t notice you while I was turning” Richie called out as he reached down to help pick up the dropped pens. “God, it’s fine. Just watch where you’re going next time idiot” a sharp voice spat out and slapped his hand out of the way. Richie winced a little and looked at the person in shock. The voice belonged to a short blonde girl, a little chubby but looked like she could kill with her scary looks alone. _Who the fuck is this?_ Richie thought as he stared at her. He may not have been popular, but he knew pretty much anyone at the school, so if there was someone he didn’t recognize he’d know. _Oh shit, is this fucking Myra? Great just great._ “No need to be rude man. I didn’t see you. You should’ve watched where you were going too. You can’t pin this all on me” Richie spat back. He wasn’t going to be taking anyone else’s shit today. The girl, who he presumed to be Myra, scoffed “Whatever four-eyes” and pushed past him as if nothing had happened. 

Despite the whole little fiasco that happened, all that Richie could find himself thinking was _what’s Eddie going to say? Is he going to get mad at me? What if Eddie ditches me for her?_ Richie made it to class and once he sat on his seat he sunk in on himself. Not wanting to think about how Eddie was going to react if it _was_ Myra who he bumped into earlier in the halls. 

Once class ended Richie found himself walking at a slower pace than usual. He felt bad for bumping into Myra and dropping her things, but he was so used to the little routine he had gotten himself into that when someone new had walked into his way he wasn’t really expecting it. So it wasn’t really all his fault. Richie kept himself hopeful, and wanted to apologize to Myra for bumping into her. He didn’t want her to resent him. If Eddie wanted them to get along for the time being, then he would try his best to get along with her. Afterall, he’d do anything for Eddie. 

When he walked into the cafeteria, it was mostly full. He wasn’t all that surprised seeing as he was a little more late than usual. “What’s up fidget spinners?” he greeted the group, hearing a collected group of sighs and a little laugh from Bill as he sat down in his usual seat next to Stan. “Th-That’s a n-new one. Wha-why fidget spinners though?” Bill asked as he popped more fruit gushers into his mouth. Richie snorted, “I dunno, I heard it’s a more gender-neutral way to greet your friends. I wanted to test it out.” Bill let out a small noise of acknowledgement and continued to eat his gushers in peace. Stan spoke up, “Here Rich I bought you your lunch for the day.” Before Richie could open his mouth Stan quickly added, “It’s turkey so don’t ask if it’s ham” Richie abruptly shut his mouth and took the lunch quietly, giving Stan a small smile. 

By the time Richie was fully seated and happily munching on his lunch the table had gone back to talking about whatever subject they were on before Richie had arrived. He assumed Myra was already introduced to the group before he got there, seeing as they included her into the conversation and seemed to be friendly around her. Well, all except for Eddie, he seemed to not be paying attention to the conversation at hand. He appeared to be in his own little world, quietly munching on his celery sticks. _That’s weird.. Why isn’t he talking? He’s usually just as loud as me.. Is it, is it because of Myra? No it can’t be that.. Maybe he’s just having an off day._ Richie just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to bug Eddie though. Bad day or not. 

“Hey Eds! What’s goin’ on? Is your mom still smokin’ hot?” Eddie was about to reply and tell Richie to fuck off when Myra cut him off and loudly spoke, “Eddie you can’t talk to him! I heard he’s a fag. You can’t hang around _those_ types of people.” Mrya wrinkled her nose at Richie. Almost as if Richie was something she found at the bottom of her shoe. She motioned her head towards the rest of the Losers. “In fact, _none_ of you should talk to him. He’s sick. It’s not normal. You don’t want to associate with _fags_ do you?”

  
  


“I.. I’m not gay. I’m- I’m not g-” Richie choked on his words. He couldn’t finish his sentence. His head felt light and his skin feeling too tight on his body. 

  
While the Losers all sat there quietly in a silent state of shock, at Myra’s words or the way she talked about Richie, Richie couldn’t tell you. He was too busy freaking out on the inside. _Fuck oh fuck. Who told her? How the FUCK did she find out? Oh God, what are The Losers going to say? Oh God I’m so fucked._ Richie could feel his chest tighten more and more with every new thought that went through his mind. _Shit fuck what do I do? Do I laugh or leave? FUCK please someone help. Anyone.. You know what? Fuck this._ Before any of the other Losers could respond to what just happened, Richie shot up out of his seat and ran out the cafeteria. With Stan following shortly after. Most likely to go and check on Richie.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much everything from Richie's pov again!! A new character is added!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I am so so sorry for the late update! :( I've been uber busy but will go back to posting when I can! I will not leave this fic!!   
> Warnings for the chapter:  
> \- homophobic slurs  
> -lots of cursing  
> -arguing between two people

Richie was halfway through the school’s courtyard when he heard Stan yelling after him. “Richie come on, stop! Let’s talk about this  _ please! _ ” Richie stopped and turned around to face Stan. He let out a huff and ran his hand through his hair, “What Stanley? What? What could you possibly want right now?” Stan stopped and looked as if he were a little shocked by Richie’s outburst. Richie never called him Stanley. Not unless he was serious. Stan leveled his breathing and pressed forward, “Richie, please I just want to talk to you about this." 

Richie inhaled sharply and let out a harsh breath, “Oh so  _ now  _ you want to talk about it? Where the fuck where you when she was saying all those horrible fucking things to me? Calling me a fucking  _ faggot _ in front of everyone?!” Stan looked down at his feet quietly, his eyes avoiding Richie's angry ones. Stan let himself think for a moment. He didn't want to offend Richie with anything he had to say, but he also didn't want to take too long a time to answer. He was too scared that Richie might run away before he got the chance to explain himself.

"Look Richie, what she said wasn't good by any circumstances at all, but you have to understand that it's her opinion and you have to respect it." Richie couldn't believe his ears.  _ Is he being fucking serious right now? Respect Myra's homophobic opinions? Absolutely fucking not.  _ "Are you fucking serious right now Stanley?! You're supposed to be my  _ best friend!  _ How could you even say that to me? She treats me like literal shit and you want me to  _ respect  _ her fucking opinion?!" Richie was practically fuming at this point. He didn't care what Stan had to say. He just wanted to be left alone. 

Stan starts again, "Richie, you  _ know  _ that's not what I mean. I just meant-" Richie cuts him off again, " _ No  _ Stan. That is what you meant and you know it!" He starts to mimic Stan's voice, " 'that's not what I meant' Oh suck my long dick Stanny boy. You and the other Losers can fuck off!”. And with that Richie left. He stormed off out of campus and pretended not to hear Stan call after him. He didn’t want to hear it. 

\-- The Next Day (Saturday)

_ Your Defeat!!  _

“Fuck!” Richie swears “I can’t believe I lost again” Richie let out a loud huff. 

This was the fourth time he’s lost to Akuma in street fighter since he arrived at the arcade and he’s only starting to get a little pissed off that this game is taking all of his quarters. He lets out a soft sigh of defeat and scans the arcade. He doesn’t expect any of the Losers to randomly burst into the arcade and beg for forgiveness, but he still feels a little pang in his chest when none of the Losers shows up. It’s when he’s turning back to his game, that he catches  _ him  _ staring. Connor fucking Bowers. 

Richie quickly adjusts his point of view back to the game’s screen and tries to avoid Connor’s stare. His fingers gaining a tighter grip onto the console’s joystick as he tries to pretend he doesn’t notice. Even while playing the game, he can still feel Connor staring at him.  _ God what the fuck does he want?Does he wanna out me like he did over the summer? Oh god I don’t think I can handle two outings in one day..  _ Richie must’ve gotten lost in his thoughts because when someone touched his elbow he jumped and stepped back. “Hey uh, your game is finished.. You lost. Guess you aren’t as good as you were over the summer huh?” Connor said with a small smile. Richie honestly couldn’t believe that Connor fucking Bowers, of all people, was talking to him. He was even talking about last summer like if he didn’t call Richie a little fairy.  _ Just who the fuck does he think he is?  _

Connor stopped smiling when he noticed he didn’t get any reaction from Richie. “Can- can we talk? Please? In private? There’s some things I want to talk to you about.. I’ll buy you a milkshake to make it worth your while.” Richie didn’t really know what to say to the offer. On one hand he knew that this could 100% be a trap and Connor would lead him straight to Henry and Richie would be beaten to a pulp. But on the other hand, he was having an awful day and could it really get worse? Probably not, plus he has the possibility of getting a shake. He figured that he had nothing else to lose so why the fuck not? 

Richie looked up at Connor, “Alright then, lead the way ol’ chap! Just  _ please  _ if you’re going to send Henry on me give me a head start. My day has been absolute shit”. Connor’s eyes widened , at Richie’s response. “Wait, really? You’ll actually come with me to talk? No bullshit?” he was surprised that Richie even answered his reply, let alone actually agreeing to hear him out. Richie gave a shrug and started to walk out of the arcade towards the diner, “Like I said before, there’s literally nothing worse than can happen to me today.” Richie said as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and continued walking, with Connor catching up to him. 

Once they both reached the diner Connor got them a small booth near the back of the diner. He sat directly across from Richie. Richie could tell Connor was nervous. He was wringing his fingers the same way he did when he was anxious.  _ What could this idiot possibly be nervous about? I’M the one who should be worried..  _ Richie bit his lip, he couldn’t take the awkward silence any longer and decided to speak up. He cleared his throat first before speaking, “So, uh, what did you want to talk about? Want to make fun of me some more? What?” Connor shook his head no and spoke up, “No Richie.. I wanted to say that I’m sorry for the way I outed you in public. And I’m sorry for not doing anything when Henry kicked you out”. 

_ Is… is he being serious? This has to be a joke. Where’s Henry at? Is he around the corner waiting to beat me up?  _ Richie balled his hands into fists. “Connor I swear to God if this is a joke or some sick prank I will not hesitate to reach across the table and throat punch you.” Connor winced a little at the threat but didn’t comment about it. “No no! This isn’t a joke I swear. I’m sorry, really I am.” His eyes met Richie’s. “You may be sorry Con, but doing nothing has its consequences too. You can’t just waltz in here and expect me to just accept your apology because you have a guilty conscience”. Connor leaned over the table a little more and softly spoke again, “I am so sorry Richie. If it helps, we’re in the same field here.. If you catch my drift..”  _ Wait WHAT? Same field?? Does he mean he’s..?  _ Richie sat there gaping at Connor from across the table. “I- wait you’re” Richie whispered the next part so only Connor could hear him, “You mean you’re  _ gay _ too?” 

Connor put a hand over Richie’s mouth and shushed him, scared that despite Richie’s whispering someone would hear Richie and beat them up. “ _ Yes,  _ that’s what I just said. Don’t go blabbing about it everywhere Trashmouth”. Richie removed Connor’s hand from his mouth and sat back in disbelief, “Oh my god everything makes  _ so  _ much sense now! Holy fuck dude!”  _ holy fucking shit dude.. Connor’s GAY too!! Wait, oh shit what does Henry have to say about this?  _ Richie looked back at Connor and couldn’t help but understand why he threw him under the bus. Richie probably would have kept his mouth shut too if he was related to  _ Henry  _ of all people. It may not have justified Connor’s actions completely, but he understood them to an extent.

Connor’s eyes kept shifting from the ground to Richie. Almost as if he was contemplating what he was about to say. “So,” Connor sat up more straight and scooted closer to Richie “Friends?” he asked while extending his right arm across the table. Richie didn’t know if he wanted to be friends with Connor, but he knew he meant the apology. Hell, Connor even went as far as to  _ come out  _ to Richie. Surely he couldn’t be that bad could he? He inhaled sharply and shook his head, “I dunno man, you’re still around Henry a lot and he’s a piece of shit..”. Connor waved his hands frantically and shook his head. “No no! It’s okay, you’ll be okay. I’ll keep you safe. I swear”. As much as Richie didn’t want to leave the Losers, he knew this was for the best. They had their chance to come meet him and apologize and yet where were they? They certainly weren’t here. The only person who genuinely apologized to him was Connor, and even that didn’t feel right. 

Connor extended his hand again to Richie. Looking at him with eager eyes.  _ Fuck it.  _ Richie extended his arm to Connor’s and shook it slowly. “Alright fine. Friends. You  _ did  _ buy me a shake just to apologize. Even if the shake doesn’t taste as good as your mom, I’ll still take it”. Connor released Richie’s hand and let out a laugh. His curly blonde hair bouncing with his laugh. “Whatever Trashmouth. Like you’d ever go near a woman’s vagina for the fun of it”. Richie snickered. “For your information  _ Connor _ , I would go straight for your mom anyday”. Connor snorted and responded back just as playfully, “whatever Richie, you’ve never even seen my mom before!” Richie took another sip from the shake (strawberry if you must know) and then leaned back onto the booth's wall seat. “I don’t need to see your mom to know that she has a smokin’ hot body Con”. 

The jokes and playful banter between them continued. Both of them laughing and getting to know eachother better. Richie didn’t know what it was, but he felt content being around Connor. Everything was just so calm and warm. It was almost as if there was no outer conflict going on. They were actually joking around and Connor seemed to actually enjoy being around Richie. Sure, Connor made fun of him but it was mutual and it didn’t feel like it was supposed to hurt Richie’s feelings after. Maybe it was because they could both relate to something together and don’t have to hide the way they felt towards boys when they were around each other. Or maybe it was because Richie wasn’t with the Losers anymore. Whatever. It didn’t matter now. He was happy and he wasn’t going to think of people that didn’t want him around. If they did, they would have said so by now. 

Richie shook his head as if that would get rid of the thoughts. It didn’t, but it made him temporarily forget about them for a second. “Hey Con? Not that I’m not having a blast or anything, but we’ve been here for awhile and I think the waitress is starting to get tired of our shit.” Richie motioned his head to the waitress glaring at them from behind the counter. Connor raised his eyebrows, “Oh shit you’re right for once” he let out a quiet laugh then looked around the diner and looked outside before looking back at Richie. “Do you wanna get out of here? I can walk you home.” Now it was time for Richie to raise his eyebrows. He didn’t know what he was expecting Connor to say, but it certainly wasn’t him offering to walk him back home. “Oh- Um.. yeah sure. I have to get home anyways”. Connor nodded his head then got up and walked with Richie to the diner’s main entrance (which just happened to also be the only exit). 

  
Richie wasn’t really paying much attention to his surroundings as both he and Connor walked towards the entrance. He was too busy listening to Connor tell him a funny story about the time he chipped his front tooth. “I’m telling you dude I literally tried gluing my tooth back on with fucking  _ school  _ glue!” Connor said while laughing. Richie let out the loudest belly laugh he’s had in awhile. “Oh my god Connor shut up before I fucking piss myself. You’re an idiot” Richie finished. Practically wheezing at this point. Connor laughed with Richie as they both reached the main entrance/exit. “Shut up you can’t tell me that story wasn’t absolutely hilarious. Richie kept on laughing with Connor as they finally left the diner. Too busy laughing his ass off to notice anything going on around them. Too distracted to see the Losers staring at him from the inside of the diner. Looking both heartbroken and confused. 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I hope you enjoyed the chapter! It was longer than the first one so I hope that makes up for the late chapter :( please don't hate on Connor too hard   
> ALSO COOL NEWS PLEASE READ:   
> i have art to go along with the fic! I will be posting it on tumblr by 06/23/20   
> I made an account on Tumblr and Instagram for those who want to see any ship art i make!! either along with the fics or just for fun!! (my ships are bichie, reddie, stozier, and ryers)  
>  I do take requests for art or fics!! just DM me or ask on my tumblr!!   
> my handles are @almostreddie (like almost-ready get it?) on both Tumblr and Insta!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a slightly longer chapter than the other two!  
> pretty much just Connor and Richie getting closer! And some parts mentioning how the Losers feel about the current situation and what they plan to do to make things better!  
> this is a terrible summary I am so sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly, I don't even remember writing chapter 2??? I didn't even realize I had posted it until my friend asked how I was going to write chapter 3 lmao. but here it is  
> Sorry it's late! I fell asleep midwriting the other day!  
> Possible Trigger Warnings For This Chapter:  
> Minor talk about homophobic experiences  
> Crying  
> Curse Words  
> Panic attack

Sunday. (Day after Connor’s apology)

It was a nice warm Sunday in September. Richie was laying on the grass, with his eyes closed, basking in the warm sunlight. Connor was laying right next to him, but on his stomach instead. Both of them enjoying the comfortable silence that was being shared. They didn’t need to talk to enjoy the other's company, they were content with just hearing the other’s breathing. The comfortable silence broke when Richie opened his mouth to ask Connor a question. “Hey Connor?” Richie twisted himself so he could get a better look at the blonde boy next to him “I never actually thought to ask you until now but, why exactly are you here?”. The blonde lifted his head from the inbetween of the crook of his elbows and raised a brow, “What do you mean why am I here? I invited you over so we could hang out stupid” Connor finished with a snort. Richie shook his head, “No not like that idiot!” Richie looked down at the grass, “I just meant, why are you here in Derry? I thought you were only here ‘till the end of summer? Summer ended like a month ago”. Connor looked away from Richie and moved to sit up right. “Oh” he cleared his throat a little before looking up again, “Well, my dad’s away at work for a while and he couldn’t leave me at our house back in Vermont, so I’m staying with Henry for a couple months.”

  
  


_ Oh.  _

Richie’s already magnified eyes got comically bigger as he processed the news Connor just dropped on him. “Wait, so that means you- you’re-” Richie's eyes went from place to place as he tried to piece everything together and find a way to spit out all the words he was thinking. Connor let out a short, quiet laugh at Richie’s reaction, “Yes Richie, that means I’m going to Derry High with you. At least until my dad get’s back”.  _ Oh fuck yeah! That means I won’t be alone at lunch and I won’t have to sit with the Losers. Or worse, Myra.  _ Richie just laid there with his eyes larger than life and his mouth hanging open. Connor laughed at Richie’s expression openly this time. “I start Monday and-” Connor was caught off guard when he looked at Richie again and his mouth was gaping open. “Oh my god Rich, close your mouth! It’s not that big of a deal.” He laughed again. However, Richie begged to differ. This was a total gamechanger. He could actually hang out with someone that  _ enjoyed _ being around him. Someone who  _ wanted _ to be his friend, regardless of who he was or who he liked. 

Richie closed his mouth and smacked Connor on his knee (seeing as Connor was now sitting and Richie was still laying on the warm grass) “Well,  _ excuse me  _ I just found out I could hang out with someone at school who  _ actually  _ wants to talk to me!”. Connor frowned at Richie’s words.  _ Why wouldn't someone want to hang out with Richie? He’s really funny.  _ “Why wouldn’t someone want to talk to you Rich? Is there something that I should know about?” Connor looked genuinely concerned while asking the question. Richie didn’t know him all that long, but he really hoped Connor was here to stay. He was nice and wouldn’t get mad at Richie everytime he rambled, or made one too many jokes about the same things. 

Richie looked down at the grass again. He sat up and crossed his legs, pulling at the grass with his nimble fingers as he thought of what to say. Connor watched and waited patiently for Richie to reply to his question. He didn’t want to rush or overstep, so he waited. When Richie finally mustered up enough courage to speak about what happened during lunch, he took a deep breath in and let it out. “I don’t think my friends want to hang out with me anymore”. Connor looked at Richie with a confused expression, “What.. what do you mean? Why wouldn’t they?”. Richie started again, “On Thursday my friend Eddie told us that he’d get in trouble if this girl didn’t sit with us during lunch. And I didn’t really want her to because I’m not good with new people, but our group's leader Bill said she could. So then it was settled, she’d be with the group. The next day, let’s just say her and I didn’t get onto a good start. Then later during lunch she called me homophobic shit and I couldn’t even defend myself. She was right”. Richie’s breath wavered a bit towards the end. He looked down at the grass before continuing again, “and- and it was so humiliating”. Silent tears trailed down Richie’s freckled cheeks and Connor didn’t know what to do. He did what any logical person would do in this situation and pulled Richie into a hug. 

“I’m sorry that happened to you Rich.” Connor pet Richie’s hair as the other boy sniffles muffled into his shirt. “I’m sorry that I’ve done the same thing to you before. I won’t let her do anything like that anymore, okay? Not as long as I’m here”. Richie pulled away from Connor’s arms and wiped his eyes from under his glasses and sniffled

“Okay”

Connor smiled at Richie. 

“Okay”. 

* * *

  
  


Monday Morning (Next Day)

Richie was almost out the door when his house phone rang.  _ That’s odd _ Richie thought.  _ No one ever calls in the morning. _ “I’ll get it!” he yelled to no one in particular. It’s not like there was anyone home to actually hear him anyways. He walked to the kitchen’s entrance and picked up the phone. In a perfectly practiced British Butler voice he greeted the unknown caller. “Tozier residence! Who the fuck is this?” He heard a laugh through the other side of the phone. He now recognized the laugh belonged to Connor. When Connor stopped his little fit of giggles he finally responded to Richie’s question. “Really Rich, is that how you answer all your phone calls? What if I was the president or something?” Richie rolled his eyes playfully at that. “Don’t be an idiot, Con. The president only calls me at night during our phone sex time!”. He heard Connor let out another loud laugh, followed by a snort. “Oh my god Rich. Shut up.” Richie twiddled with the phone cord, “No seriously, what the fuck do you want? I’m gonna be late for school”. Richie could tell Connor stood up more straight by the way the phone muffled for a second. “Oh right.. School. About that. Are we actually going to hang out, or was all that for shits and giggles?”  _ Oh.  _ Richie hadn’t actually thought of that yet.  _ Shit,  _ where would they even sit? The cafeteria was already packed as it is. Let alone with two other loners.  _ Fuck.  _

Richie fidgeted with the phone’s cord roughly as his thoughts were going a mile a minute. “Richie?” Connor asked, confused as to why Richie hadn’t answered him. Richie shook his head clear, “Oh uh, I don’t know. Do you  _ actually _ want to have lunch with me?” Connor let out a sigh, “Yes Richie, I actually want to have lunch with you. Why else would I have asked?”. Connor had a point. Why would he have asked Richie to hang out, if he didn’t want to hang out? “Alright alright sorry blondie just making sure” Richie teased. “I’ll see you during lunch okay? Unless we magically have a class together or something” Connor hummed in agreement. “Alright Rich, I’ll see you then yeah? Bye man”. Richie nodded his head despite knowing Connor couldn’t see him. “Yeah I’ll see you then blondie!” Richie hung up the phone with newfound determination. Today was going to be his day. No Losers not backing him up. No Mrya to be mean to him. No drama. Just him and his new friend Connor. He grabbed his backpack up from the floor and exited his house with a hopeful smile. 

* * *

  
  


Richie managed to successfully avoid the Losers throughout the morning pre-bell period. He made sure to take the long way to school so that by the time he got there, it would only be a small amount of time before the first bell rang. He wasn’t looking forward to English, however. First period English with Mr.Webber wasn’t going to be fun. Not just because it was English and that class was a total bore, but also because he sat next to Eddie in that class. To be fair, Richie didn’t know that he and Eddie would no longer be friends this year. If he had known he wouldn’t have chosen to sit next to him the first week. 

_ Briiing!  _

Richie exhaled and stood up from the outside bench he was sitting on. “Well here goes nothing” he said to no one other than himself. He grabbed his backpack and began to speed walk to class. He figured if he arrived to class before Eddie it wouldn’t be as hard as him arriving late and having Eddie stare at him weirdly as while walking to his chair. Besides, he knew he could get there before Eddie because Eddie liked to walk all the Losers to their nearby classes before going to his own. 

Just as Richie predicted, he made it to class before Eddie. Before anyone really. It was only him, Mr.Webber, and a couple other students inside. Mr.Webber seemed to notice that he didn’t come in with Eddie for once and quirked his eyebrow. He even opened his mouth as if he was about to say something, but promptly shut it when Richie gave him a look saying  _ please don’t talk to me. _ When Mr.Webber turned away to look back at the paper’s on his desk Richie took that as an opportunity to lay his head on the table and pretend to sleep.  _ Whatever. It’s better than waiting for Eddie to show up.  _

Right before the bell rang Richie heard Eddie’s voice saying bye to someone.  _ Probably Mrya.  _ Then felt the small breeze of the chair next to him be pulled back and Eddie sitting down. Richie didn’t look up. He didn’t want to. All he did was shift more to the right, giving Eddie more space for himself. When the bell finally rang and the school’s PA system came on and gave the morning announcements he could practically feel the awkward tension between him and Eddie. He wasn’t going to say anything though. He shouldn’t be the first one to speak up.  _ (A.N. never apologize for something you cannot change about yourself!)  _

After the class warm-up Mr.Webber clapped his hands, startling the class from the calm silence and stood up to make an announcement. In his  _ slightly  _ nasally voice he spoke, “Alright everyone put your pencils down and pay attention for a sec”. Richie looked up from his desk and waited for Mr.Webber to make his announcement.  _ What could it possibly be this time? A new essay due tomorrow? God I don’t think I can handle another essay.  _ The teacher sniffed loudly and continued his announcement to the class, “We have a new student today! Isn’t that fun? We haven’t had one in a while!”. Webber walked to the door and went into the hall to go get something. He walked back into the classroom with the new kid and a huge grin. “Everyone, this is Connor! Give him a warm welcome and treat him nicely please! Connor, why don’t you introduce yourself?” Webber looked at Connor with a neutral expression. 

Connor looked around the room and smiled once his eyes landed on Richie. “Hi everyone, I’m Connor Bowers and I just moved here to Maine this summer. Nice to meet you all I guess.” Connor finished with a small shrug. Richie wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he was smiling. Maybe English wouldn’t be so bad after all.  _ Fuck yeah! Connor’s in my class!  _ Webber patted Connor’s back and instructed him to sit in any of the free seats in the back. As he was walking to the back of the room he made eye contact with Richie again and smiled, giving Richie a small wave while passing him. Richie gave him a goofy smile in return. 

The rest of the period had gone fairly quiet. It was mainly reading and analyzing articles for any flaws in them. It was about ten before the next bell rang to signal the end of class when Webber spoke up again, “Alright everyone, before the bell rings, I want to tell you all about the upcoming project due next Monday” a collected group of groans were let out by the students “Yes, yes I know ‘ew another project lame!’ but it’s not as bad! This will be a partnered project so please pick a partner and come up to my desk and sign both of your names. It will be a simple presentation of any famous American Author of your choosing!” 

Both Eddie and Richie froze. He’s never done a project without Eddie before. He and Eddie had always been partners for practically anything. Never one without the other.  _ What the fuck am I gonna do now? Do I LOOK like I’m capable of doing my own presentation alone? Fuck fuck fuck. What if-  _

Richie’s mini attack was interrupted by a poke on his right shoulder. He looked up and saw Connor looking down at him. “Hey Rich, do you wanna be partners?” Connor asked while nervously scratching his wrist. Richie blinked. “Oh, uh, yeah that’s cool. That’ll work too”. Connor smiled, “Awesome. I’ll go write our names. Meet me in the back?” Richie nodded. Connor nodded back and proceeded to walk to the line at the front desk. He could feel Eddie staring at him from his side of the shared desk. He didn’t say anything though. Richie just collected his things and headed to the back of the class. 

Richie watched as Connor walked back to their desk in the back. Connor sat down and started to balance the two hind legs of the chair. “It’s cool that we have a class together! I thought I wasn’t gonna have any friends in my classes”. Richie nodded agreeing with him, “Yeah I’m glad you’re my partner. I don’t know who I would’ve paired up with if you weren’t here man”. Connor snorted before sitting on his chair correctly, “What would you have done without me Trashmouth? Anyways, library after school? I bet we can find shit on American Authors there”. Richie hummed in agreement “Yeah that sounds like a plan blondie”. 

_ Briiing  _

Richie and Connor walked out together talking about whatever it is two teenage boys talk about. Richie made it through PreCalc without talking to Stan or Bill. He made it through Spanish without interacting with Bev or Eddie (he had Connor in that class too). And he didn’t even spend his free period waiting for the Losers until after school like he usually did. He left early with Connor to head to the library. 

* * *

  
  


(Same Day at the Library; Eddie’s POV)

Eddie was with the Losers trying to figure out who to do his English presentation on when he heard a faint crash of books,shortly followed by faint laughter somewhere in the English Literature section.  _ Who the fuck is laughing at a library?? Do these people not have any fucking decency? God.  _ He closed his book shut and shot out of his seat. “Ben you’re good at English right? Can you help me find something about a famous poet or something?” Eddie wasn’t about to fail his presentation just because he didn’t have Richie with him. Ben turned around to face Eddie and excused himself from his conversation with Bev. “Oh yeah man, I can help!” Ben offered as he stood up to walk to where Eddie was waiting, “You have Webber right? I have him 3rd, so we can work on the same author”. 

Eddie nodded along. Not really paying attention to what Ben was saying. As much as he loved Ben, he wasn’t in the mood for conversation. He just wanted to figure out where that laugh was coming from. It sounded familiar to him, but he couldn’t quite place it. As they walked to the English Literature section, Eddie could hear the sounds of laughter getting louder. Except this time he made out that it was two, not just one person laughing. When they got to the front shelf Ben started searching the books for any popular American Authors. Eddie tried to focus on finding someone and actually helping Ben, but he couldn’t. He kept finding himself drawn to whoever was giggling on the other side. 

Figuring it wouldn’t hurt to take a little peak, he walked to the other end of the long bookshelf and turned his head to look on the other side. It was just Richie.  _ Wait, Richie?? What the fuck is he doing at the library of all places??  _ Eddie must have been staring for a while because the kid (who he soon realized was Connor) stopped smiling and looked directly at Eddie confused. He quirked his eyebrow at Eddie, and before Richie turned around to see what Connor was staring at, Eddie quickly turned back around to the other side of the bookshelf and ran back to where Ben was still looking. 

_ Oh fuck, that was close. Too close.  _ Eddie pretended to not be jealous of the new kid laughing with Richie and making him laugh. He wasn’t jealous. He just missed his friend. That’s all. He kept a small conversation with Ben about who they should do their presentation on, but his mind kept wandering off to the sound of Richie’s laugh. Ben picked a couple of books and politely excused himself from the shelf he and Eddie were at. Eddie stayed at the shelf and quietly told Ben he’d be at the table in a bit. When Ben walked off, Eddie finally could snoop without feeling Ben’s silent judgement. He heard a quiet gasp be let out on the other side and that’s when he took the opportunity to listen through the shelf. 

(Dialogue of what Eddie heard)

Richie: Oh my god, Con! Let’s do a reenactment of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet’s death scene! It would be a total fucking riot. 

Connor: Rich, Shakespeare was  _ English _ , not American… idiot. 

Richie: *whines* Oh come on! Please!

Connor: No. We’d fail! I’m not failing my first presentation here because of you. 

Richie: … please?

Connor: *sighs* Alright we can do it here for fun, but we have to actually pick an American Author for our presentation. Deal? 

Richie: *scoffs* Fine, deal. 

Eddie moved away from the bookshelf and walked back to the table the Losers were all sitting at. He’s heard enough.  _ Why is Richie suddenly all buddy buddy with this new kid? And Connor’s a BOWERS no less? What the fuck is going on?  _ When he got back to the table he just grabbed a random book and pretended to understand what he was reading. Bill, being one of the closest people to Eddie, noticed something was off and poked Eddie on his arm. “Is suh-something wruh-wrong Ed-Eddie?” Bill asked him with a questioning look. Eddie looked up at Bill, then to the rest of the Losers, who were all looking at him expectantly. “No, nothing’s  _ wrong.  _ It’s just, I saw Richie hanging out with someone that wasn’t us and it just felt.. I don’t know? Weird?” he looked around the group to try to find a reaction out of them. He didn’t really find any. They all looked down with knowing looks. Afterall, they felt Trashmouth's absence too. It wasn’t just Eddie. 

Mike sat up straight and got up from his chair when he heard a fit of giggles, “Look, there he is now! I’m gonna go see if he wants to hang”. Before anyone in the group could say anything, Mike was already halfway to the pair of boys. He waved his arm and half-jogged his way to Richie and his new friend. Eddie didn’t want to look. The Losers haven’t told him yet about the whole Richie-Mrya-Gay situation yet. Eddie peered over and saw Richie and Connor stop when they noticed Mike come their way. From what Eddie could tell, Richie wasn’t mad. At least, not at Mike. to be fair, Mike wasn’t there when it all went down so he couldn’t be mad at him. Richie introduced Connor to Mike, and vice versa. Mike must have offered them a seat at the table because he gestured towards the Losers. Richie looked over at everyone sitting at the table. This was the first time he’s actually acknowledged them since Friday. He turned back to Mike and shook his head no. Mike looked like he wasn’t expecting that answer, seeing as Eddie saw his eyebrows raise a little at the rejection. Richie said something else and motioned his head to a table with two backpacks on it. Mike nodded and said some other stuff. They seemed to act in an awkward way. With Mike being unaware of the situation and Richie not knowing if Mike agrees with what Myra said. Neither of them seemed sure of how to say goodbye to each other. After a bit of lingering they settled on a small fist bump and both walked their separate ways. 

“That was odd,” Mike started as he sat down with the rest of the Losers. Stan turned his head, “What do you mean, Mikey?” Stan asked when he fully faced Mike. “I mean, he just looked uncomfortable talking with me” Mike looked a little hurt while talking, “Did, did I do something to upset him? Is that why he hasn’t been hanging out with us?” Mike looked around frantically at the Losers. Eddie frowned. This wasn’t fair to Mike. “No, we just had a little dispute the other day and it got bad. Nothing to worry about Mikey”. Mike didn’t look all that convinced, but gave a firm nod and perked up again. “Did you guys meet his new friend? Connor, I think?” Ben, Stan, and Bill shook their heads no. Bev spoke up, “Oh Connor? I haven’t met him personally, but he has Spanish with me and Eddie. He just moved here today”. She shifted her eyes to Eddie, then back to Mike, “Did he talk to you? Is he nice?”. Mike gave a small smile, “We introduced each other, but he didn’t seem keen on talking to me”. Bev and the others nodded in understanding. 

They all went back to their usual talk and fell into a comfortable silence. Something that felt wrong to each of them. Not the same. However, that was all interrupted when the loud creaky library doors opened suddenly. Eddie swung his head so quickly, he thought he’d get whiplash. He glanced at the library’s entrance and saw someone enter. It was Henry. Henry fucking Bowers was at the  _ library.  _ Eddie never thought he’d see the day. He saw Henry approach Connor and Richie’s table and talk to them for a second. Connor nodded and got up to leave with Henry, and after taking a couple steps he turned and asked Richie a question. To which Richie nodded and grabbed his backpack from the floor.  _ Excuse me, WHAT? Is Richie actually leaving with Henry?? Why would he do that? Does he not remember the fucking bullying at all?? There’s no way Henry turned a new leaf over the course of one fucking summer!  _

Eddie tore his gaze away from the scene and back to the table. Their gaping faces matching his. Stan was the first to speak out, “What the fuck just happened?” his eyes going from person to person, “You all saw that too right?!”. Everyone else just nodded along. A beat of confused silence gathered around the group, before they all blew up asking questions they didn’t know the answer to. 

* * *

  
  


In all honesty, Richie didn’t know why he accepted Connor’s offer to drive him home. It was already a lot to spend most of the day with him, not to mention seeing the Losers hang out without him. And it wasn’t like he didn’t like Connor. It’s just,  _ what if this leads to something more? I’m not ready for that yet.  _ “Rich? Richie are you okay man?” Connor asked when Richie got a little too quiet and started bouncing his leg more in the car. Richie couldn’t hear Connor. It was more of a muffled call. His chest was feeling tight again. It felt just as tight as when Myra was saying those too loud things in the cafeteria. Richie didn’t like this. His skin was too tight and his head was spinning.  _ Oh fuck, am I having a panic attack? Fucking shit, what were the techniques again? Fuck!  _

Connor must have noticed Richie’s behavior because he asked Henry to stop the car and wait outside. “Richie, buddy, I need you to tell me if you’re there okay? Can you hear me?” Connor asked, a little panicked. Richie could hear him, but he sounded too far away. After catching on that Richie was breathing too fast and probably couldn’t hear him, Connor reacted again, “Richie, baby, breathe okay?” Connor gently grabbed Richie’s face and put their foreheads together. The physical touch helped Richie a little and grounded him a bit more. He heard Connor mention something about syncing their breathing. He tried his best to match the other’s breathing. “Rich, can you hear me? You’re in a car, with me Connor, I’m your friend. You’re having a small panic attack, I’m trying to help you” Connor said gently. After Richie calmed down he looked around and took in his surroundings. He blinked a couple times and looked at Connor, “Hi Con, I’m sorry I don’t know what happened there” Richie apologized. Connor frowned, “Richie no, it’s okay. Everyone gets them, I’m just glad you’re feeling better now” Connor finished with a small smile. Richie nodded along, “Thank you, you really did help”. Connor smiled again and pulled Richie’s hand into his as they sat down normally again. Richie didn’t say anything about the hand holding. He knew it was to help ground him a little more. To help assure Richie that he was still there. He appreciated it. 

When Henry got back into the car he asked Richie where his house was and started driving again. If he noticed the hand holding, he didn’t say anything. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you enjoyed the chapter!  
> sorry it's late :( my schedule has been really hectic.  
> I hope you have a great rest of your week and sleep well :)  
> also I just got a weighted blanket and it's SO comfortable!! 10/10


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Losers somewhat justifying their actions, and Mike (being the sweetheart he is) helping the Losers see the errors of their ways.   
> TW for the chapter:  
> -talk of homphobia  
> -mentions of being outed  
> -internalized homphobia  
> -swear words  
> this chapter was so hard to write, i couldn't think of any way to write this filler (kinda filler)

A Month Or So After The Outing ™

Richie was zoning out in first period English when he felt a tap on his shoulder, followed by a folded pink notecard thrown on his desk. He turned to the person sitting behind them and gave them a questioning look. They just shrugged and nodded their head towards the back of the class. He didn’t need to look at what the kid was gesturing because he already knew it was from Connor. He gave a firm nod and turned back to face the front. He opened the bright notecard and read the note in Connor’s tall slanted writing. 

_ C: ice cream friday? :) _

Richie thought about the offer for a second. It was currently Wednesday, so that means only two more days of doing nothing at home until he and Connor can hang. Once he thought of the reply he searched his backpack for a pen. He settled for a red marker. He uncapped the marker with his mouth and wrote his response on the bright notecard. 

_ R: only if you’re buying blondie ;) _

He asked the kid behind him to pass the note back and turned around before Webber caught him. Not that Richie was worried about getting caught. He didn’t care. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s gotten in trouble, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. 

He went back to working on the assignment Webber had given the class the day prior. It was just rereading certain parts of the play they were reading, and imputing your opinion on the decisions the characters made. It was simple enough but Richie had one problem. He forgot his book at home and now had nothing to analyze. He knew he should have said something and asked for an extra copy to borrow, but he was far too nervous and would rather pretend to do work than actually go up and ask. Afterall Richie was almost done with his work, only needing two more character studies and opinions. He and Connor had hung out yesterday and Henry made them do work before heading out to the arcade. Richie felt odd at Henry telling them to do their work, but he figured it was Henry’s way of showing that he wasn’t all that bad anymore. 

In all honesty, Richie didn’t mind not turning in his work for the day, but Connor has been on his ass about turning in his work on time lately. “ _ Richie, senior year is next year and we have to have good grades or we won’t have a future! Don’t you want a future?” Connor would ask everytime Richie complained about not wanting to do work.  _ Richie smiled at the memory. No one else in the class had an extra copy of the play except for one person, and Richie wasn’t too keen on asking said person for a copy. He internally groaned and let out an exasperated sigh before turning his head to face Eddie. 

“Hey Eds-” Richie caught himself saying Eds without actually thinking about it and corrected himself before Eddie could say anything in response. “Hey  **Eddie** , do you have an extra copy of the book we were supposed to bring? I left mine at home..” Richie finished off. Scratching his arm nervously and eyes not meeting Eddie’s. Eddie’s nose wrinkled at Richie calling him Eddie. When Richie called him Eds, it made him feel like a different person. One his mom didn’t hover over, a good one. He didn’t hate it, not really. He wouldn’t admit all this out loud though. In a sharp tone, Eddie replied back, “Really Richie? This is the first time in a month since you’ve talked to me, and it’s only about if you could borrow a fucking book??”. Richie opened his mouth to speak, but shut it when Eddie continued on with his little rant. “I- I just can’t believe that you would only talk to me when you need something” Eddie huffed out while crossing his arms in a harsh manner. 

Richie recoiled at Eddie’s harsh tone. “Look Eddie, I’m not asking you to fucking marry me alright? If you don’t want me to borrow your book because of germs or AIDS or whatever just say no, jesus fucking christ”. Eddie sat there staring at Richie with his mouth slightly open. Clearly contemplating his next words. Richie didn’t wait for a response and turned back to face his paper. He didn’t want to deal with this again. He rested his head on his arms and decided to zone off again.  _ If I’m not gonna have a book to finish the assignment on, then there’s literally no point in finishing it. Might as well sleep.  _ He calmed down and went into his own little world, surrounded by his own thoughts.  _ I wonder if Eddie misses me the way I miss him. He’s still the same Eddie I know I’m sure of it. But it’s all different now. He doesn’t even want to look at me now. Now that he knows I’m a big flaming homo. It’s not that I don’t think what he did (or didn’t do) wasn’t good, because it wasn’t. But he still could have talked to me about it.  _

It seems as though Richie’s thoughts were always being interrupted because he was pulled from his thoughts, yet again after feeling someone kick his right shoe. He looked up and saw Connor with the book they were supposed to bring to class. Richie raised a brow in question, and in return Connor rolled his eyes and handed Richie the book. “Here Rich. I just  _ knew _ you were gonna forget it today, do you can borrow mine. Just bring it back after school?” Richie nodded and gave him a half smile. “Thanks Con. I’ll give it back after class.” Connor nodded in affirmation and walked to Webber’s main desk to turn in his completed work. When he was walking back towards his seat in the back he gave Eddie a look and continued walking. It wasn’t a bad look, but Richie couldn’t quite place it. 

Eddie watched the whole interaction between Connor and Richie go down. He’s noticed that the two hang out a lot more than he originally anticipated. Not that he cared though, because he didn’t. Eddie still felt a little pang of jealousy whenever he saw Richie laughing with someone that wasn’t him. It wasn’t the same as it was with any of the other Losers. It was just with  _ Connor _ that it ticked off Eddie.  _ What does Connor have to say that’s soo funny huh? I’m funny too! Just look at me. Please.  _ Eddie didn’t  _ like like  _ Richie or anything. He just missed having his best friend around. Sure, he called him names and sometimes had a bad temper towards him, but it’s always been like that. This time though, Eddie couldn’t keep his mouth shut and spoke out loud before thinking. “So is he like your boyfriend or something?” he didn’t mean for his tone to come out the way it did. Richie looked taken aback.  _ Obviously moron! You just asked a totally evasive question! Ugh, stupid!  _ Richie gave him an annoyed look before smiling in an odd way, cocking his head to the side, “So what if he is? Got a problem with it?”.  _ Yes. Why him? What does he have that I don’t?  _ Eddie didn’t say that out loud though. He just stayed quiet and went back to his paper.  _ God WHY would I ask that? What the fuck is wrong with me?  _

Richie wasn’t having this though. “What Eddie? Got nothing to say now? How fucking typical of you!”. Richie isn’t going to lie and say he didn’t feel bad after seeing Eddie’s quick flash of hurt towards his little call out. Because he did. But he didn’t have time to feel bad. If Eddie did care, he should’ve told him. 

* * *

  
  


Friday came a lot quicker than Richie had expected. Yet, here he was with Connor walking to the ice cream parlor after school on a cool Friday. October wasn’t really the perfect time for an ice cream, but he needed a distraction from the newly found awkward tension between him and Eddie. Luckily, Connor was there and willing to offer Richie a distraction in the form of arcade games, company, and ice cream. 

When they arrived they both picked their usual flavors and after paying, sat outside the parlor, ice creams in hand. Both falling into a casual conversation of stupid things they’ve done growing up that they’d never forget. From Richie telling Connor about the time he ate floor pizza on a dare, to Connor telling him about the time he cut his own hair with a butterknife. It was their own little thing by now. They used this time to get to know each other and try to one up the other. It was them. 

Connor was midway through explaining some drastic story when he noticed Richie wasn’t all paying attention to him. Instead, looking out towards the arcade’s entrance where he saw the Losers all talking to each other. Connor knew Richie missed the Losers. Richie would often bring up fond memories of them, and Connor could tell that they held a big place in Richie’s heart. He knew some of what happened between them, but he knew he didn’t know the whole story. He thought Richie would have told him by now, but clearly Richie was still trying to process the whole separation and thing that happened. He just wished Richie would trust him enough to help him mend their friendship. Connor wasn’t going to be in Derry much longer. His dad is almost done with his work out of state, and that meant Connor was going to leave soon. He didn’t want Richie to go back to being alone when he left. 

“Hey Rich? Is something wrong? You kinda zoned out on me man” Connor asked. Richie faces away from the Losers and back to Connor, “No nothing’s wrong I’m just tired is all. Screwing your mom all night really took a toll on me” Richie finished with a laugh. Connor rolled his eyes, but smiled at Richie’s joke. Just glad that he was still in the mood to be joking around. “No Rich, I know something’s wrong. Is it about your friends? You always act a little different when they’re around..”. Richie looked from Connor, to the group, then back at Connor. He sighed and properly sat to be face to face with Connor. “Okay, so when we met, I may not have told you everything about what happened that day I was outed”. Connor sat up straighter and leaned more into Richie. He was ready to hear the whole story. 

* * *

  
  


Eddie and the Losers were walking towards the parlor when they all saw Richie sitting with his new friend outside the parlor’s main wall. They both seemed to be caught up in their own world. Richie was, unsurprisingly, the one doing most of the talking in the conversation. Although, Connor did seem to put in some of his thoughts here and there. Eddie thought about the other day when he had asked Richie if they were dating. He didn’t technically say no.  _ Are they dating? God, I hope not. Eddie what are you saying? Why do you even care?  _

Bev noticed the two of them sitting down together and pointed it out to the rest of the group. “I wonder what they’re talking about”. Bill and Stan both turned their heads towards what Beverly was gesturing. Stan replied back, “I don’t know, but it’s not our business! No snooping Bev”. Beverly rolled her eyes and elbowed Bill on his stomach, “What do you say Bill? Should we crash it and see what they’re talking about?”. She looked at him and gave him her ‘don’t say no to me you know you want to too’ look. 

Long story short, that’s how the Losers ended up eavesdropping on Connor and Richie’s conversation. Eddie tried his best to listen to what the two were saying from his position. He was behind Ben and Stan, who were behind Mike, Bill, and Bev, so he couldn’t hear much. He only could make out bits and pieces, but the next things he heard, he heard clearly. 

Richie: And I don’t know Con. After she said all those things, it was just like I couldn’t breathe. I had to get out of there. 

Connor: But you said they didn’t do anything? Why are you not talking to them if Myra was the one that said all those things?

Richie: That’s the thing, they  _ didn’t  _ do anything! I thought they were my friends you know? I thought they were gonna help and defend me! Or at least say something to me after.. But they didn’t and that’s the problem. If they did care and want me around, wouldn’t they have said something by now? It’s been a month. 

The Losers didn’t stick around to hear the rest of the conversation because Mike had stood up from where he was kneeling, and pulled the other’s along with him until they reached an opening near the woods. Eddie was a little scared as to why Mike had led them here without so much as a peep out of him. But he knew that Mike was a sweetheart and wouldn’t do anything to scare them, or intentionally hurt them. 

“Muh- Mike what’s go-going on?” Bill asked once they stopped walking and reached the small opening. Mike crossed his arms and turned to face the rest of the Losers. “Are any of you going to actually tell me what’s been going on with Richie, or am I going to have to ask him myself?” He gave them all an open stare and raised his brow expectantly. Eddie was too ashamed to admit or say anything about the situation, and Bev and Ben were visibly avoiding Mike’s gaze. Bill didn’t say anything but froze up at Mike’s question. Stan must have figured that no one else was going to say anything about Myra, so he took matters into his own hands. “Do you want the whole story, or the bullshitted version that’ll make us look better?” Stan asked in a tone Eddie couldn’t quite place. “I would prefer what actually happened, because clearly I wasn’t being told the truth the first time I asked” Mike answered. Eddie did feel bad for not telling Mike the whole truth, but he didn’t exactly lie the last time. It was more of a dispute more than anything. 

Stan nodded at Mike’s response and sat down, while leaning against a tree. Once he got comfortable he motioned his hands for the others to sit with him because evidently this was going to be a long story and would need everyone to add their input for the whole story to get across. Stan started off first with telling Mike about why Myra was even there in the first place. Then went on about the horrible things Mrya had said about Richie in front of everyone. Stan also told Mike about trying to go after Richie that day, but being told to fuck off. “I didn’t even mean to justify her actions like that.. It just came out all wrong and now he hates me for it” Stan finished off. Bev was the next to speak up, “I haven’t even tried talking to him since. I miss him so much, but I didn’t help him when he needed the help and now I think it’s too late” she wasn’t looking at the group. Instead, she was looking off somewhere in the distance. Probably thinking of all the things she could have done, but didn’t. Ben gave her hand a small squeeze and spoke up too. “I’m with Bev on this. I mean sure, I wasn’t as close to him as the rest of you were, but I still could have tried to speak up for him. Instead I stayed silent”. 

Mike still hasn’t said anything. He just sat there quietly with a neutral expression on his face. Taking in everything the Losers had just told him. “Buh- but what if-f Richie  _ is  _ gay? Bill asked while looking at the rest of the group. “Wha- what are we guh-going to do abou-out it?”. Mike turned his head towards Bill and gave him a confused look. “What do you mean Bill? Is there something wrong with him being gay?”. Eddie shook his head and moved to help out Bill, “He’s right Mike, how are we going to help him?”. “What do you mean help him?, Eddie?” Mike asked. Eddie played with the zipper of his fanny pack nervously, he didn’t want to feel like he was being interrogated. He just didn’t want Richie to act gay around him is all. “I just mean, how can we help him not be gay? My mom told me being gay is bad for your health. I don’t want Richie to be sick his whole life.. I want him here”. “Eddie, he’s not  _ sick. _ ” Stan spoke out “Being gay isn’t a sickness, you can’t get rid of it”. 

Bill and Eddie went back and forth with the rest of the group trying to justify their actions and responses towards what would happen if Richie was actually gay, when Mike loudly cleared his throat and loudly spoke so the rest of the group could here what he had to say. “Listen to me closely because I am only going to say this once” he looked at all the Losers, but had his main focus on Eddie and Bill. “You have to understand, just because he’s different doesn’t mean he chose to be that way. You have no idea any struggles he could have been having at the time, and you guys not saying anything could have just made it worse for him to bear”. Bill was about to speak up again before Mike cut him off and continued with his words. “You all choosing to be silent, is the same as agreeing or choosing to be on the side of the bully”. Bill along to Mike’s wise words. He didn’t think of it like that. He may not have fully knew about what was going on, and didn’t fully understand Richie’s being gay, but Richie was there for him when he needed him the most. After his brother passing, in Neibolt, even when no one else wanted to hang. Richie was always there, and when Richie needed him the most he wasn’t there. If Richie was there for Bill, then it was time Bil manned up and be there for Richie. Regardless of what he thought, Richie was still Richie. Bill just felt bad he didn’t realize it sooner. 

Eddie knew Mike was right, and there was nothing wrong with being gay. Deep down he knew that he didn’t defend Richie because that’s how he felt about himself on the inside too. Myra’s harsh words were just speaking out loud of what he thought of himself. And what if Richie was going through that too? Eddie wasn’t there to tell him he felt the same. He knew this wasn’t an excuse for not sticking up for Richie, but he hoped it would help explain why he couldn’t say anything either. He looked at all the Losers and stood up with a determined look in his eyes, “Well then, how are gonna get the Trashmouth back?”. Mike smiled and got up too. Along with Stan, Bill, Bev, and Ben. they were going to get their Trashmouth back. 

* * *

  
  


Next Day

Richie was lying sprawled out on his bed with a cigarette in one hand and a green rubber eraser in the other. (A.N. I use rubber erasers as a stim toy to help calm me down and I couldn’t think of another thing to give to Richie to subtly calm him down). Gently rubbing the pad of his thumb against the side of the eraser. It was a quiet day today. He was feeling a little anxious earlier, over what he couldn’t tell you. But the eraser and cigarette were helping a lot. At every inhale the nicotine heading to his brain just helped. 

He was waiting for Connor to arrive at his house. Richie’s parents were both out of town and Richie didn’t like being alone at home, so he invited Connor to come hang. He was later than usual, which didn’t help with his anxious feelings. Thus part of the reasoning behind the eraser and cig.  _ Those’ll give you lung cancer, Chee! Don’t you want to live past 20?  _ At the memory of Eddie telling Richie to stop smoking, Richie decided to put whatever left of the cigarette out. He smushed it against his wall, and threw it out his main window. After tossing it, a little angry gasp was let out from someone outside. The little gasp was followed by a not-so-happy Connor shouting out, “Richie oh my god you could’ve burned my hair off!!”. Richie looked out the window with a smirk and snorted, “I put it out! Stop exaggerating blondie!”. Connor looked up from where he was standing and barked out a laugh at how ridiculous Richie looked from this angle, “Alright alright whatever Trashmouth. Now are you going to open the door or not?”. Richie made an exaggerated face as if he were debating whether or not to let Connor in, but nodded and closed his window before opening the door to his room and setting off for the main door of the house. 

Once he opened it, he was greeted by a big hug from Connor.  _ That’s weird. He’s only hugged me one other time and even then it wasn’t a hug like this. Is something going on?  _ Richie returned the hug just as tightly and enjoyed it for what it was worth. Appreciating the warmth coming from the other boy. He didn’t get hugs often, and wasn’t going to let this one go just because the person hugging him was a boy. No sir, absolutely not. After a few long seconds, Connor let go and let himself fully inside the Tozier household. When Richie finished both closing and locking the door, he turned to see Connor sitting on the main couch. Another red flag to Richie because usually Connnor would be halfway to his room by now. Something was up. 

Richie gave Connor a confused look and raised his brow in question. “Is something wrong?” he twiddled with his fingers, a nervous habit he had picked up a long time ago, “Did something happen? Are- are we okay?”. Richie didn’t know what to expect from the blonde at this point. He didn’t look mad, but he didn’t look too excited about whatever he had to say either. “Rich, I have two things to tell you. Both are important, I just don’t know which one to drop on you first.”  _ Drop? Oh so this was bad news..  _ Connor spoke while moving more to the side of the couch, offering Richie a spot next to him. “Well Con, I don’t really have any context here so I can’t exactly pick for you..” Richie replied. He hated this feeling. The feeling of not knowing. 

Richie sat down where Connor had patted him to sit and in his British guy voice that totally said ‘I’m not the one panicking you are’ tone spoke to Connor. “ Right then, what’s all this about good lad?” Connor gave a small smile at the Voice and then twisted himself to be able to see Richie better. Richie did the same, but rested his back against the end of the couch and pulled his knees up. In the middle of their comfortable silence Connor spoke, “I, uh, ran into your old friends today” that caught Richie’s attention. He lifted his head and questioned Connor, “Oh, when? Where?”. Connor cleared his throat and continued from where he left off to answer Richie’s question. “It was when I was on my way to your house. I had to run a couple errands beforehand and they all kinda cornered me”. Richie leaned more into Connor after every word. He didn’t know why he cared so much. 

“What did they want?” Richie asked. Connor continued, “The second tallest one, Stan? I think that was his name, anyways he gave me this”. It was then that Richie actually realized the giant orange envelope that Connor was holding out.  _ Did he walk in with that? How the fuck did I not notice that?!  _ “Anyways, they told me to give it to you since they knew you wouldn’t have taken it if they had tried giving it to you”. Richie reached for the envelope and carefully opened it. Inside were six different colored letters all written to him. No doubt each letter was from one of the Losers. What was in the letters? He didn’t know. He didn’t  _ want  _ to know. He didn’t need to, he had Connor. But curiosity always got the better of him. “What’s in them?” he asked Connor, “did you read them before you got here? Is it bad?”. Connor frowned and shook his head no, “No, it’s not bad. You think I would have intentionally given them to you if they were mean? What kind of friend do you take me for Tozier?”. Richie frowned. Of  _ course  _ Connor wouldn’t have purposely given him a mean letter. What was he thinking? 

“I read them all.. You know, to make sure they didn’t want to hurt you. I won’t tell you what’s in them, but I think you should give them a chance. At least a read”. Richie thought about it. It wouldn’t hurt too much to give them a read right? God, he hoped Connor was right. Richie put the cards down on the small coffee table and wrapped his arms around his legs again.  _ Wait, didn’t Connor say he had two things to tell me?  _ “What was- what was the other thing you wanted to tell me? You said you had two things to tell” he looked at Connor directly this time. Connor glanced up at Richie, then back to his hands. “Oh well uh, well my dad’s almost finished with his work out of state and I’m gonna be going back home soon..” he looked up at Richie with sad eyes.

Richie felt a heavy weight set over his stomach. Another friend leaving? Can he just catch a break? Richie then got up and pulled Connor up with him. Connor let out a surprised noise, but otherwise said nothing. Richie just stood there. Staring at Connor, refusing to break his stare. “Rich, please say something. I know my leaving fucking sucks and believe me-” Connor was cut off by Richie’s warm, scrawny arms wrapping around him in a bone-crushing hug. Both of them almost losing balance by how forceful Richie started the hug. “I’m just glad you actually told me, instead of just leaving me” Richie said before nuzzling his face more into Connor’s shirt. This hug felt different than the one Connnor gave Richie earlier. This one was safe. This one was a goodbye. Even if Connor wasn’t leaving today, or tomorrow, this was still some form of goodbye for them. Richie let himself enjoy the warmth and overall feeling of feeling safe for a little longer, before pulling away and giving Connor a smile. Connor’s smile matched his, “Of course Rich”. 

Richie turned and hopped back onto the couch, “Right then! Time to read these letters and figure out what the fuck I’m going to do now”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just started my courses again and they have been taking up so much time :( So sorry for the terribly written chapter :( i pinky promise the next/last chapter will be worth the read!   
> I didn't know how to write out this chapter in an organic way, but i tried.   
> I'm a Richie stan and writing from anyone else's perspective is HARD.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> apologies and some Reddie hurt/comfort since I have deprived y'all from Reddie  
> sorry for the shitty chapter bros

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you have no idea how hard it was to not make this angst  
> enjoy the niceness in this chapter please  
> take it  
> the ending was so rushed im so sorry i didn't know how to end this

Same day as last chapter

Richie didn’t read them. At least, not until Connor left later on in the day. But as soon as the blonde left, Richie shut the door and ran upstairs to his room. Quickly grabbing the giant envelope from the coffee table and bolting upstairs. 

Once he got himself situated on his bed, he opened the envelope and shook all the smaller, multicolored envelopes out. On each of the letters was a date and time written on them, with a small drawing of a place in Derry.  _ Oh great, now they wanna meet?  _ It’s not that Richie didn’t want to see the Losers again, because he did. He was just scared, and frankly still a little peeved off. Still, no matter how peeved off he was, he still missed his Losers. He missed Bill. He missed his stupid stutter and dumb hair. He missed Bev too. He missed her funny retorts at his jokes, and their little smoking breaks on the nights his anxiety was too much to handle alone. He missed his best friend Stan. The boy always had something smart to say back and even though he pretended not to like his jokes, Richie knew he liked them. He missed the days when it was just the two of them bird watching because all of the other Losers would be too busy to hang out. Richie would always be sure to be extra quiet for Stan. He missed Mike and the calm warm feeling he would provide the group. Mike always asked Richie what was up, and would try to include him in everything. He missed that about Mike. Not to mention the warm and comforting hugs Mike would give him from time to time. He was the only one who knew about Richie and his appreciation for physical affection. Richie even missed Ben. He and Ben didn’t talk as much as he’d like to admit, but they were still friends. Ben would try to help Richie with anything he needed help with school wise, and would even invite him over to eat at his house often. Richie appreciated Ben for who he was. He missed him. 

But most of all he missed Eddie. Eddie and his stupid fanny-pack. Eddie and his obnoxiously smart mouth. And sure, Richie and Eddie didn’t get along  _ all  _ the time, but he still missed the shorter boy so much. He knew why, of course. But he wouldn’t be caught dead saying it to anyone else.  _ Hell no.  _ Richie missed Eddie, because Eddie was his person. Eddie was the one person who’s response mattered to him the most. If he had told Richie he was sorry first, Richie knew he wouldn’t have been so mad. Eddie  _ didn’t  _ apologize though. That was the problem. That’s why it was so hard for Richie. And Richie loved Connor, don't get him wrong. Connor was an amazing friend to him, but he wasn’t them. He wasn’t Eddie. 

After Richie finished longing for his Losers, he got to reading. 

* * *

(Date not specified, but a day or two after Connor gave him the letters)

**Bill**

**3:00pm at the quarry**

_ Rich,  _

_ I wanted to start off this letter with me saying I’m sorry for not sticking up for you. As the club’s “leader” I should have said something when Myra said those gross things. I don’t want to put too much into the letter because I should be telling you these things in person. You were there for me when I lost Georgie and you were the first one to show me any kind of support. I admit that I didn’t think what you were/are was normal and I grew up thinking it was wrong. But you’re such a great friend I don’t care what you are. You’re like a brother to me and I’m sorry for hurting you. Me and the Losers want to each meet you and say our sorries in person. Again, I’m really sorry and hope you can forgive me for not saying anything.  _

_ Big Bill _

Richie was actually on time for once. He didn’t want to show up late and have Bill staring at him as he walks up to him. No sir, he would be the one staring this time. He was anxiously waiting at the quarry near the ledge. One hand gripping the bike's handlebar a little too tight, while the other hands fingers twist on a loose string from his too bright hawaiian shirt.  _ Too loud, too loud. Why is the shirt so loud?  _ His patience wore thin as the minutes ticked on by. He checked his wrist watch for what felt like the 30th time today,  **3:07pm** . Bill was late. Richie was about to hop back onto his bike when he heard the screech of someone’s bike brake behind him. He stopped and turned to where the noise was coming from. Low and behold Bill Denbrough was there. A little red in the face, probably from racing here, and panting slightly. Richie made a face and frowned. He was about to open his mouth to say something snarky about Bill being late, when Bill caught his breath and spoke first. 

“Suh- sorry I’m l-l-late Richie!” Bill breathed out once he caught his breath, “My muh-mom made me do extra chores before letting me go out”. Richie nodded. He knew how Bill’s mom got when he wanted to go out. “It’s alright Bill”. Bill bit at his lip, then got off his bike and kicked the stand out. “Cuh-can w-we talk Ruh-Rich?” Bill asked with pleading eyes. As much as Richie dreaded the conversation that they were about to have, Connor was gone and he needed to fix this. “I’m already here aren’t I?” Richie said as he let his bike fall to the ground. Walking up to where Bill had sat down in the shade, and sitting himself a little less than two feet away from Bill. Bill took in a breath and started his apology. “Richie, I am so sorry for not speaking up for you when Myra said all that shit”. Richie was slightly taken aback at how Bill managed to not stutter while apologizing. That’s when he knew he meant it. Richie turned his head towards Bill, “Go on”. “I fee-feel freaking awfu-ul for not doing anything. An-nd I want you to know that I support you for who you are”. He finished and made eye contact with Richie. 

It was one the first times Richie found himself speechless. He didn’t expect Bill to say that in the letter, let alone in person.  _ Bill’s okay with me being gay? Oh shit Bill’s okay with me being gay!  _ He didn’t know how much he needed to hear his friends say it in person until they did. In a way, Bill saying he was okay with it made his chest feel less tight. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. A sigh of relief if you will. He straightened his glasses and properly met the leader's eyes. “You’re serious? You’re okay with it?”, he asked with a tinge of fear in his voice. Fear that this was all a sick prank and he’d get spit on any second. Bill responded with a frown at Richie’s words. “Of-of course I’m okay-ay wuh-with it Rich. I may n-not have underst-stood it at f-f-first but Muh-Mike helped” Bill stood up and offered Richie his hand. “You’re practically my brother Rich, if it’s who you are, then who am I to judge you?”. Richie’s eyes got comically larger at Bill’s response. He didn’t expect all this support from Bill. He took the brunette's hand and stood up. “I-'' Richie found himself at a loss for words again. “Thank you Big Bill'', Richie said as he was suddenly pulled into an awkward hug. They were both pretty scrawny, but he hugged back with just as much force. “I’m so sorry Rich, we love you so much. We didn’t mean to hurt you the way we did” Bill said as he held onto Richie. “I hope you can forgive me for not being there when you needed me”. Richie let go of Bill and gave him a half smile. “Well I mean, what you did  _ was  _ pretty fucked, but I can turn the other cheek for you Big Bill”. 

Bill beamed at him and pulled Richie into another hug. “Thuh-thank you Rich” he said as he hugged him even tighter. Richie rolled his eyes and let out a huff, “Yeah yeah let go of me Billy, you’re gonna crush me!”. Bill laughed and let go of Richie again. He held out his hand and asked “Friends?”. Richie looked at the hand, then at Bill. He knew it was going to take a long time to be able to get back into the old rhythm they used to have, but if he did care for him like he said he did, then it wouldn’t hurt to try. He put his hand in Bill’s and shook it firmly. “Friends''. 

* * *

  
  


**Bev and Ben**

**4:15pm at the Clubhouse**

_ Richie,  _

_ Although you and I aren’t as close to each other it was still wrong of me to not speak up for you. I take responsibility for any kind of trauma that may have caused you. I could’ve yelled back at her or something. If it helps, Bev and I have been ignoring Myra pretty much the whole time she’s with us. She’s not around us anymore though! She finally found her own group of homophobic jerks. Bev and I are going to meet up with you at the same time since it’s hard for her to talk about stuff without her “man” there apparently. I’m sorry Richie. I hope you can forgive me.  _

_ Ben _

_ Richie I am so so sorry for not saying anything when Myra called you those shitty fucking names. She’s a total bitch and I didn’t even do anything! You’re my best friend Rich. I don’t know how many times I should say sorry for you to forgive me. If you don’t want to forgive me that’s fine, but please please hear me out when we meet. You’ve always wanted the best for me, and I didn’t give the same for you. I’m a shit friend, I’m so sorry. Give me a chance to redeem myself Rich. I’ll even buy you a new pack of cigs if you show up. Please.  _

_ Molly Ringwald (Bev) _

After Bill’s apology Richie did feel more confident with meeting up with the rest of the Losers. The apology went well, and him and Bill were on okay terms now. Did that mean everything was going to go back to normal? No. At least not right away. He read Ben and Bev’s letter and was a little nervous about meeting up with the two of them at the same time. However, Bev offered him a pack of cigs and he was running dangerously low on his own pack at home. He reluctantly agreed to meet them at the clubhouse. They already said sorry, so Richie didn’t all understand the point of meeting up. They said their sorries so what more were they going to say in person? Whatever, he needed a new pack anyways. 

When he got to the clubhouse, he spotted bright red hair right away. He made his way inside and was met with the couple already inside. He was instantly pulled into a warm hug from Beverly, followed by her saying she was sorry multiple times. “I am so so so so sorry Rich oh my god” she hugged him even tighter with the more words she spoke. “Can you please forgive me, I am so sorry for not saying anything to you that day”. He ripped himself away from the hug and looked at the two of them. “I was promised a pack of cigs'' he spoke in one of his Voices. Bev smiled and reached into her dress pocket and pulled out a fresh pack. She tossed it to him and spoke again. This time more gentle than the first. “I’m sorry for unintentionally being a homophobic asshole”. He looked up from the pack in his hands and his eyes met with hers. “I was just so honestly shocked that she would even say anything like that in  _ public  _ and so calmly that I forgot to say anything”. Ben nodded along with her. “Yeah, we should’ve said something to her so she could stop her idiotic behavior, but we didn’t and that’s what made us bad friends''. “We hope you can forgive us, and know that we will never let anything like this happen ever again” Bev added. 

Richie looked from one B to the other. He knew they meant well, and that if they weren’t sorry they wouldn’t have gone out of their way to say it. He gave himself a firm nod and decided to give them one more chance. “Alright B squared, you made me turn the other cheek. I forgive you”. Seeing the look on their faces was enough to show Richie that they missed him too. They talked for a bit longer. Richie telling them about Connor and them telling him about how unpleasant it was without Richie around. Being with them made Richie happy. He missed Marsh and Haystack more than he’d like to admit. 

* * *

  
  


**Stanley**

**5:00pm Sharp, at Stan’s house**

_ Richie,  _

_ Oh my god I am so sorry for everything I have done up to this moment. I didn’t mean what I said that day we had our fight. I took some time to myself and realized that what I said was so stupid. You shouldn’t have to respect someone else’s opinion if it affects your day to day. You’ve always been a source of support for me whenever something goes south, and I wasn’t there for you this time. I’m sorry Rich. You’re my oldest and closest friend. Losing you was quite literally one of the worst things that has ever happened to me. I shouldn’t have hurt you the way I did, and I should have said something to Myra in that moment. Next time I will be there for you. Pinky promise. I just want you to be happy, and if being happy means I can’t be in your life anymore, I can accept that. But please, give me a chance.  _

_ Stan the Man _

Richie felt odd being at Stan’s house. He wasn’t inside yet. He was just waiting outside the front door, too nervous to actually knock. He and Stan didn’t leave off on the best terms and Richie was worried this whole apology thing was going to end in another nasty fight. He missed his best friend though. They’ve known each other since they were in diapers. Practically inseparable growing up and now nothing as much as a glance here and there. He wasn’t going to lie, Stan’s letter made him tear up a bit. Losing Stan as a friend made Richie’s heart ache. 

Shaking the bad thoughts away, he mustered up enough courage to knock on the door. It was quickly opened by Mrs.Uris, “Oh! Richie, honey I haven’t seen you in so long!”. She gave Richie a warm smile and ruffled his hair a bit, moving to the side and opening the door more for him to enter. “Thanks Andrea, is Stan here? We’re supposed to hang out today”. Richie felt odd calling Mrs.Uris ‘Andrea’, but she insisted he call her that because saying Mrs.Uris made her feel old. “Hm? Oh yes honey, he’s upstairs in his room, just go on over, I’m sure he’d be happy to see you” she gestured towards the stairs and patted him on the back. He muttered a small thank you and went up the stairs.  _ Really Stan? You couldn’t even answer the door? C’mon.  _

Once he made it to the pale blue door down the hallway, he gave it a special knock. It was one he and Stan had made up years ago so Stan would know it was Richie knocking. Richie himself was a little surprised he still remembered it. First there was silence, then a muffled “come in'' could be heard through the other side of the door. Richie opened the door and was met with a red nosed and watery eyed Stan. He was wrapped up in a grey blanket and honestly, looked awful. “ _ Stan?”  _ Richie asked in all surprise. Stan looked up at Richie from where he sat on his bed. “Hey Richie, sorry I didn’t answer the door. I didn’t want my mom to see me like this'' Stan said as he looked down onto his lap. “What’s going on Stan? Are you okay?” Richie asked. He hated how worried he sounded, but this was his best friend after all. Stan made a face and knitted his eyebrows together, “What? No, I’m fine! I should be asking you that!” he sniffled. Richie rolled his eyes, “Stan, what the fuck am I here for?”. Stan made room for him on the bed and motioned his head towards the empty spot. Richie sat down besides him and turned his head towards the other boy. 

“What’s up Stan?”

“I am so sorry Richie. I just feel awful over everything I said to you. What kind of a bestfriend am I? I try to make you accept those gross things that bitch said to you, and then I stop talking to you because you got mad? Like what is wrong with me oh my gosh” Stan let out. Breathing a little labored seeing as he was crying before Righie got here. Stan caught his breath and started again, “And I miss you so much. Please know that I will never ever let something like that come between us again. You’re my brother and I love you so much. You’re my family Rich”. Richie thought about Stan’s words for a minute. He loved Stan and missed him dearly. He knew Stan meant well, and actually meant his apology because Stan  _ never  _ said sorry. It was a rare sight to see. Plus, Richie knew he couldn’t stay mad at him. Stan may have been in the wrong, but Richie did bad things too. They were family. They forgive. He collected his thoughts and looked back at Stanley. The boy's nose flushed red and his eyes red from tears. He leaned over and gave Stan a hug, “God, I missed you too Staniel”. Stan let out a short laugh and hugged Richie back even tighter. “I’m sorry Richie''. Richie nodded and let go of the hug. “It’s okay Stan. At least you tried to get me to stay. You were the only one that went after me”. 

And with that they both made up. Both boys sitting in the comfortable silence only they could stand. Later interrupted by Stan telling Rich all that he’s missed, and offering him comfort and support if he’d ever need it. Richie did feel better after making up with half of the Losers now. A healthy weight being lifted off his shoulders. Bit by bit gaining more confidence for when he had to meet Eddie. 

* * *

  
  


**Mike**

**6:30pm at the barn**

_ Hey Richie,  _

_ It’s Mike in case you couldn’t tell by the handwriting haha. I’m sorry for what happened with the Losers and that girl Myra. I didn’t know about the situation and believe me if I was there I would’ve given her a piece of my mind. She shouldn’t have treated you like that, and the Losers should’ve said something. Luckily though, I knocked some sense into them and they finally came around to apologizing. I hope you can forgive me for not knowing about the situation, and them for being grade A idiots. I guess now it makes sense why you were acting weird when I saw you at the library with that blonde kid. I’ll see you when we meet up! I’m not that good at writing out all my feelings and junk. That’s Ben’s job.  _

_ Mikey Mike _

Richie found himself feeling a lot better after making up with Stan. All the Losers he’s made up with so far have shown him so much support and warmth to him, he just knew meeting up with Mike was going to make him feel even better. He was walking across the Hanlon’s plain field on his way to the barn, when he noticed said boy walking in the same direction. Richie called out to Mike hoping he could hear him. Cupping his hands around his mouth, he breathed in and yelled out “Mike! I’m over here!”. Mike then turned his head into Richie’s direction and lightly jogged to catch up. Waving his arm with a smile on his face. After finally catching up with Richie he offered a grin and walked alongside the pale boy. “Hey Rich, sorry I didn’t see you there.. I was just finishing up some work before we had to meet and I guess I lost track of the time”. Richie bit at his cheek, “That’s okay. I was just having an orgy with Ringwald and Haystack so I was a little late too” Richie joked. Even though he really was with Stan before he got here, he thought the joke would land. “Beep beep, Richie” Mike said in a playful tone. 

Both boys made it to the barn and took a seat next to each other on the soft, golden hay. Richie set his arms behind himself and leaned back. Enjoying the silence for what it was worth. It didn’t last long though, Richie came here for a reason and he was determined to get it over with. Turning to Mike with a neutral expression he asked the question he’s been meaning to ask, “Now what’s all this about an apology? I’m kinda on a schedule here pal”. Which wasn’t a lie. He still had to meet Eddie tonight. And as much as he dreaded that whole conversation, he didn’t want to be late. Mike fixed his posture and nodded firmly. “Right. I asked you here so I could ask for your forgiveness”. Richie crooked his head and let out a confused sound.  _ Forgiveness? Forgiveness for what? Caring?  _ “What are you talking about Mikey? You didn’t do anything wrong. There’s nothing to forgive” Richie finished with a slight frown. Mike returned the frown and shook his head, “No but I still feel like a bad friend. I could’ve done something!” he finished with his hands spread out. Richie shook his head and stood up quickly. “Nope” he made sure to pop the “p” just a little louder than usual to show emphasis on it. “No sir you did nothing wrong. You didn’t know and that’s not your fault”. Mike stood up with him and continued to press on. Richie wasn’t listening though. Mike didn’t know and wasn’t in the wrong here. He wasn’t going to let him talk badly about himself or wish he could’ve done something different. 

Right as Mike was about to say something else about being a terrible friend, Richie picked up Mike and held him tightly in the air. Both were surprised at Richie’s sudden strength, seeing as Richie was rather lanky. “Shut your mouth Hanlon! I forgive you even though there’s nothing to forgive! Now return this hug or I’ll scream”. Mike snorted at that. “You just miss my hugs there’s no need to lie Tozier”. Richie chuckled and put Mike down. Only to be hugged again by the beanstalk that was Mike Hanlon. He breathed into the hug. Accepting it for what it was. Pleasant and familiar. 

Their time was cut short when Richie glanced at his watch and saw the time.  **7:36pm.** _ Shit have I really been here an hour? I have to go.  _ He apologized to Mike for having to leave, and out the doors he went. He still had to make it home and eat dinner. Not to mention his parents must be wondering where he was. They may not always be home, but they made sure to leave him at least some food when he got there. 

* * *

  
  


**Eddie**

**8:30 in my room after my mom goes to bed**

_ Richie,  _

_ It’s been so long since I last heard from you. I’m sorry for all the things I said to you that day. Or rather didn’t say. I was scared Rich. You deserved better than that. I know that not standing up for you wasn’t fair. I was confused at the time and I didn’t know how to deal with what was going on. I miss you ‘Chee..  _

_ And I don’t just miss you being here, I miss everything about you.  _

_ I miss the big dumb smile that you’d get whenever someone would laugh at one of your jokes. I miss the way your dumb hair would bounce whenever you spoke. I miss the way you would talk during a horror flick, so you could distract me from all the scary parts. I miss everything about you. Hell, I even miss the way you would call me Eds. I never really hated it ‘Chee. You don’t have to accept my apology in person, but please hear me out.  _

_ I miss you.  _

_ Sincerely,  _

_Eddie K._

After making it home Richie ate, changed into more comfortable clothes, and tried to mentally prepare himself for his talk with Eddie. Emphasis on the word tried. Richie was ridiculously anxious. Picking at his skin and yanking at his already wild hair. He refused to pull out a cig though. The smell would stick on him and Eddie would complain and tell him all the consequences of smoking. He didn’t want Eddie to be mad. So he stuck to pacing around the room. 

Once the time for their meetup came around, Richie was practically vibrating with worry.  _ What if this all goes wrong and the group hates me for it? God I can’t mess this up again.  _ He stepped outside and started walking. He didn’t stop walking until he reached the window he was once so familiar with climbing through. Not sure what to do, he lightly tapped on the window twice. Pulling at his fingers while waiting for a single tap back. It felt like hours had gone by before he received a tap back. Followed by the window opening up and the curtains covering it moving to the side. Brown eyes met even darker ones. Both showing fear and something else neither of them could place. 

Just as he was about to take an extra step to push himself through the window, he was stopped by the shorter boy. Richie looked up in confusion and raised a brow. Eddie shook his head no, “Not here. My mom could hear”. Riche understood and quietly released himself from the window’s ledge. He stood there in the dark as he waited for Eddie to climb through the window. It took longer than he thought it would, but it was kind of funny to see Eddie try and get out by himself. Finally, after what felt like 10 minutes, Eddie was on the other side of the window. “Where to boss?” Richie asked in his practiced Jersey accent. Eddie gave a shrug and blew air from his mouth. “I dunno, if I’m being honest I didn’t expect you to come”. Richie understood where Eddie was coming from. If he was being totally honest here, he didn’t expect himself to be here too. No matter how much he missed Eddie, he feared rejection more. 

Both boys walked to the front of Eddie’s house and sat out on the curb. It was quiet. Too quiet for Richie. He thought about being the first one to speak, but changed his mind when he couldn’t get the words out.  _ Why the hell am I so nervous? It’s just Eddie.  _ Richie’s never had a problem with speaking his mind until now. So why is this any different? All he needed to do was open his mouth and let the words out. But even that didn’t feel easy here. He let out an exhale and adjusted his glasses, “So, you missed me calling you Ed's huh?”.  _ God, why would I start the conversation like that? Oh my god.  _ Eddie lifted his head from his knees and gave Richie a funny look. “God I send you a whole letter saying how much I miss you, and  _ that’s  _ what you take from it?”. Richie laughed a little and waved it off. “Yeah yeah, you still admitted it”. 

Eddie let out a sharp breath and got straight to the point. Clearly not wanting this to take any longer than it should. “Look Richie, I know what I did was wrong and you must hate me for not sticking up for you” he started. Zipping and unzipping his sweater the more he spoke. “And even though you never asked for my help I should have known better and helped you regardless of whether or not you wanted it”. Richie bit at his lip, “Eddie I never asked you for help because I shouldn’t need to ask for help! You were supposed to be my sidekick and you didn’t even spare me a glance”. He didn’t want Eddie to feel worse than he already did, but he was really hurt by this and wanted to know what was going on with Eddie for just staying there. Eddie wrinkled his nose at Richie calling him out. “Richie I am always there for you! It was just this one time that I couldn’t do anything. I have to pick my battles! I was scared”. Richie snorted at Eddie’s words.  _ Scared? Scared of what Eddie? Being a good friend?  _

“That’s just the thing! The one time I needed you to back me up, you just sat there!” Richie didn’t mean for his voice to rise, but he couldn’t help the emotions that were spewing out of him. He was tired of not speaking his feelings. He needed to tell Eddie how he felt. “Ed’s you promised me that no matter how embarrassing or ugly things got, that you’d always be there” Richie could feel his eyes starting to burn, but he continued on anyway, “And- And you just let her say that shit! You let me leave”. His voice cracking at the last bit. Now it was Eddie’s turn to be at loss for words. He didn’t want Richie to cry. It was something he hardly ever saw, and for good reason. Richie crying was the absolute worst. He hated seeing it, let alone being the major cause for his crying. He scooted a little closer to the boy. Not knowing whether or not it would be okay to gently rub his back.  _ Would that be too much too fast? He hasn’t even accepted my apology yet…  _ “Richie, I’m sorry for not doing anything. Please don’t cry” he spoke softly. Frowning when the other’s tears didn’t stop right away. 

Without much thought into his actions, he pulled his Trashmouth into a silent hug. Hoping it showed Richie just how much he cared for him in it. Richie’s tears and slightly labored breathing turned into sniffles and cried out eyes. Nose and face now a rosy pink. He hasn’t said anything back to Eddie yet. He pulled away from the warm embrace and stared at the empty street in front of them. Eddie rested his head on the other boy's shoulder and made patterns on his right leg with his fingers. “I’m sorry, okay? Please just come back.. I want to be here for you. Whenever you’ll let me”. Richie closed his eyes and let the crisp October air engulf him. He thought about letting Eddie in again. Pondering at the possibility of Eddie actually sticking up for him. He trusted Eddie before. So why was this any different? “I don’t know when I’ll be able to forgive you fully Ed’s, but I appreciate that you apologized”. It was all he needed to say. It wasn’t all that he wanted to say, but it was enough for now. 

* * *

  
  


Once Connor officially left back to his hometown, Richie started to hang out with the Losers more and more. Slowly over time they regained his trust. Though truthfully, it shouldn’t have been lost in the first place. Whoever said time heals all wounds was fucking lying. It still hurt like hell to think of the Losers not sticking up for him, but no matter how bad Richie’s thoughts got, they were always there to help him out however they could. Especially Eddie. 

Now Richie had always thought of Eddie as more than a best friend, but always shut it down when he let his mind wonder. Never letting it ever be anything more than desires or actual feelings, for fear that someone would know. Always imagining what his hands would feel like holding his. Wondering if the boy’s hands were rough or soft. Breath always being caught short when the other boy gives him a soft look. Over time, Richie learned to embrace his feelings. He learned that it was okay to feel things, because feeling things was innevitable. Boys were allowed to like boys, and girls were allowed to like girls, or anything inbetween. It was okay. 

Which is why when Eddie came out to him he didn’t get mad. How could he? He was the same after all. And after a while, he didn’t need to hold in his feelings for the shorter boy. The latter admitting his feelings towards him not long after coming out. It took time of course. Like all things, they needed to adjust and learn. He didn’t need to imagine what it was like to be with Eddie, because he was with Eddie now. He was safe and he was loved. That’s all he needed. It’s all he wanted. 

Fin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we finally finished it man!! what a wild ride  
> i hope it wasn't as terrible to you as it was so me,,,,  
> I wanted to let y'all know that I plan on writing a lot more fics! I have a lot of one shots planned for my favorite ships, so if you want!! stay tuned for that!! The ships will mainly be Reddie, Stozier, Bichie, and Ryers! I have a one shot for Stozier that's in the works! so that should be fun!   
> I will probably go back and remake the fic once I have more experience, but for now this will do. Thanks for reading this badly written fic ily <3  
> OH YEAH BTW if you have any requests for the ships I previously mentioned, PLEASE message me them @almostreddie on Tumblr or Instagram! i only have it for my fics so,, don't be shy haha!


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